Sunday, April 27, 2008

Free Range Kids

Have you heard this story yet?  A mom from NY City allowed her 9 year old son to take the subway home from a department store in the Upper East Side to Manhattan, by himself.  She calls it.."free range kids" and insists that she did nothing to put him in danger and was allowing her son to use his independence and skills of maturity.  Huh.  She also insists that we, as a society, are far too overprotective of our children.  Huh, again.  This got me thinking.  Am I too overprotective of my three children?  Well, maybe a bit.  I don't allow them to walk on busy streets alone, they are not allowed to have friends in the house if I am not here, they accompany me and stay with me inside stores, and I insist my husband take my boys to the mens room so they don't meet some sicko molester in the Wal-Mart men's bathroom.  

On the other hand, I allow my 9 year old son to run to his friend's house in the neighborhood (ditto with the other kids), he has an air soft pellet gun, he has a electric motorcycle that goes 7 MPH, my daughter can stay home for short periods of time while I run an errand or drop a sibling off at a play date, my youngest (who has Asperger's Syndrome) is allowed to walk to the mailbox by himself (around the corner and out of my view) and also to the neighbor's to play. They sometimes sit in the car while I run into a store to purchase bread or milk (all three are in the car at once...safety in numbers?).  I've drilled them all on what to do if approached by someone they don't know..... screaming, clawing, kicking, biting...my daughter has a cell phone so I can keep tabs on her.  But is this all TOO PROTECTIVE?

I was reminiscing about my youth.  I grew up in a large family, I was #5 out of 6 kids.  We lived in a small seaside community and had neighbors who also had large families.  We would run through the neighborhood (we did live on a pretty busy street, but had a nice side street that was less traveled and perfect for hide and seek, bike riding etc.).  We would spend hours and hours outside and I rarely remember my mother scanning the hood looking for us.  She was too busy keeping house for 8 people.  The laundry alone!  Yikes!  

One evening during my bookclub, we had a remember when you were a kid and your parents let you did________.  I am proud to say that I won that little contest.  How?  Well, my sweet and well meaning mother would drop myself and my older and younger brother off at the local beach.  I think we were ages 11, 9, and 7 respectively.  We had a giant inner tube from the local truck garage.  We would get on that inner tube and FLOAT DOWN THE BEACH for OVER A MILE to the next beach and there would be mom, ready to pick us up!!!!  I am NOT JOKING...although she seems to have forgotten this and claims it untrue.  Never mind we could have been sucked out in to the Atlantic and never seen again....or who knows what else.  The book club girls were aghast!  We also heard stories of walking 10 or 15 minutes to the local store to pick up a pack of cigarettes for mom or candy to fill our guts.  Guilty on that one too!  I have to laugh when I think of these stories....because you would EVER let your kids buy you a pack of butts or drop them off at the beach to float to another beach or walk to the local store to buy candy and chips?    Hah!  Yeah, right!  

Maybe we are too overprotective....but I can assure you, my 9 year old will NOT be taking the subway any time soon.

1 comment:

FLOSSY said...

That inner tube story always makes me laugh! Times have changed my dear, and that woman who let her 9 year old go alone on the subway is in for a nasty surprise one of these days.