New Year's Resolutions

Well, how can I follow Fitfreak's eloquent posting about the tough life lessons that kids need to learn (and we need to teach them). Its so hard being a parent and being a kid. So I'll just say that I agree with everything Fitfreak has to say on the subject and I am anxious to see how the school will address the issue of the adjustment counselor with the kids and the parents.

That being said: On to my New Year's Resolutions.

Each year I try to implement some resolutions, as we all do. I always tell my spouse that this year I will be more tolerant and less judgemental (and each year I seem to become LESS tolerant and MORE judgemental! At least I'm consistent!)

My resolutions this year are probably much like yours. Lose weight. Get in better shape. Curb my impulse spending. Oh, yeah and one more:

I WILL NO LONGER WIPE MY 6 YEAR OLD'S BUTT!

All the training I've received for my direct sales business tells me that in order to be successful you need to establish goals and then SHARE those goals with other people. That makes them real. That keeps you on track. So now you know.

I WILL NO LONGER WIPE MY 6 YEAR OLD'S BUTT!

I know that our kids grow up WAY too fast, that we need to cherish each day and try not to hurry them along or wish this time away. So those little childlike habits we love are hard to let go of. Snuggling in our bed? Oh, all right. Help me cut up my meat? Sure. Wipe my butt?

You're on your own.

I dread it when my little one heads into the bathroom with 4 or 5 books and shuts the door (SO reminiscent of his father!) 15 or 20 minutes later I'll hear that inevitable chant, "Mahhhhhhhhh-mmmmmmmmmm!"

Should I ignore it?

"Mahhhhhhhh-mmmmmmmmm!!!!" (more strident now)

Yes, I'll definitely ignore it!

MAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH-MMMMMMMMMMMMMM" (screaming)

WHAT!?!?!?!??!? (me screaming now)

(sweet little sing-song voice) "I'm done!"

Guess what sweetie! I'm done too! It's 2008, handle it yourself.
Life sucks, get a helmet.

Life lessons

It's been a tough week for the family of Fitfreak.  As some of you may know, I have three children, ages 11, 9 and 7.  They are my sunshine, my pride and joy, my everything.  With that said....I can tell you that being a parent is the hardest thing on the planet.  Notice I did not say "job" because, really, this ain't no job.   A job you are paid for, recognized for and get time of off.  Being a mom is not an occupation or job....it's a vocation.     And like any vocation, one has to deal with difficult issues that arise from time to time.  For my 7 year old, such issues could be not having any more Life Cereal in the pantry.  For my 9 year old, a life breaking moment could be a missing homework assignment.  But as they grow older, the stakes go up.  

This week I have had to explain three major life lessons to my 11 year old daughter.  I blogged the first, which was the sex ed night at her middle school.  It turned out to be a very informative meeting and was very well done by the staff and administration of the school.  I was impressed.  Very impressed.  So much so that I came home and asked my daughter (privately of course) if she knew what an erection was. She paled, stuck her fingers in her ears and bolted from the room, vehement that she NOT know what an erection was/is.  Well, she is going to find out one way or another....most likely, when she has her sex ed segment in school.  Here I tried to be the mom on the job and give her the facts.  Guess what?    She is completely 100% not interested in hearing them from me.  Fine.  Duty done.  Let the school handle it.

Lesson number 2.  This one has been around for a week or so.  Jamie Lynn Spears, 16, preggers.  What shocked me about this one was that my sweet little girl knew JLS was knocked up before I did!  Once again, I ask privately to talk with her and gently break the news that her favorite TV star is with child.  She looks at me like I live under a rock and says "yeah, like mum, I knew that yesterday!  Whatever!"  OK - so I proceed with how inappropriate it is for a 16 year old GIRL to be a mother and even compared JLS to our 16 year old babysitter.  That gave her pause and  seemed to sink in a bit.  She can't imagine the 16 year old babysitter pushing a stroller around the hood.    Sort of a reverse image???  Anyhoo, we ended the conversation with me telling her that JLS is a naughty, naughty girl and having sex before you get married is illegal.  That oughta take care of that!

Lesson number 3.  Ouch, now this one really sucks.  My daughter struggled a bit in 4th grade and had a social lunch group with several other girls and the school adjustment counselor over the course of the year.  Adjustment counselor is code for guidance person......it's the PC version these days.   I hear this morning that the esteemed counselor was arrested for drug possession and distribution.  Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhttt????  Are you  kidding me?  This trusted person, who encouraged my daughter to make good choices, take responsibility for her actions, to trust and reach out to others, was distributing and taking drugs?  Okay, no one is perfect, and we ALL make mistakes.....but....she is 47 years old and an elementary school counselor for god's sakes!  Get a grip lady!  I can feel the anger bubbling up, wait, yes...... I am furious!  So here we go again...I call my daughter in to the kitchen and ask her to read the article in the newspaper.  As she finishes the article, she looks up at me with sadness in her eyes and says "but mum, she was so nice!"  How the hell do you explain this one?  I tell her that said adjustment counselor has some problems, she needs our prayers, she made bad choices, blah, blah. 

Now I confess that I am a tad conflicted because while I am so pissed off, I do feel bad for the lady.  Her life is over.  Totally.  But why do I have to explain her mistakes to an innocent child?  Why do I have to explain JLS's mistake to an 11 year old child.  

I guess this is the way it is these days.  It just isn't easy anymore.  Maybe it never was.

Ouch!

Guess who just pulled up in front of my house?  I know you are just dying with curiosity so lets make this a fun game.  

First, it's a red truck.  Nope not the fire department, although, that has happened in the past.....  Second, a man is pulling a long hose across the front lawn.  ( I told you NOT the fire department!)  Third, soon I will get a bill for $450.  Give up???  ANDERSON FUEL.  The most HATED person in my haus frau head and household!   I truly feel like running out the front door, screaming...."get away, get away you money sucking freak!"  

Why, why, do the winter months, which happen to be depressing enough, drain us of all our money?  Or more specifically....my FUN money!  Think about it....November and December we are running around like lunatics spending money on food, gifts and fun for OTHERS.  January rolls around, and just when us Haus Fraus need a lift, like say a pedicure or massage or the like, the extra goes toward really stupid things like heating oil.  Further what makes me insane is the fact that this gouge is not really necessary.  WHY is the heating oil and gasoline so expensive?  Sure, sure, you can give me all that blah, blah, blah on energy consumption, global warming, and a war in Iraq....but who really suffers?  I mean REALLY suffers?  It's the women, of course!   I take some personal satisfaction that the SOB's who are laughing all the way to the bank with my extra $900 (which I will have to spend this winter to keep my house a toasty 66 degrees) will suffer in a cold hell....I can assure you of that.  $900 equals at least three dinners out with friends, 10 pedicures and a few massages, and perhaps a new frock to lighten the gray winter days. Not fair!  I need it more than they do! 

  I'm off to put on my house scarf and second pair of socks.  So much for living in New England.  Hey Floss.....can I borrow that coat?

Dear Flossy, 

I thought you had made a New Year's resolution to NOT spend money in an impulse fashion.  What happened?  Did you really, really need to purchase the floor length puff, quilted, down filled, bedspread also known as your new coat?  I mean, it is 11 degrees out right now, but you are not  trekking to the local Shaw's for provisions, are you?  I suppose I could summon up this scenario......it snows two feet, driveway unshoveled (because you are too tired from your spin class), husband stuck at work, kids driving your nutt-o.  Maybe, just maybe, the bedspread/coat combo might come in handy as you could use it to embalm yourself as you snowshoe to Myette's for some Mike's Hard Lime, but other than that....is it really necessary?  My Dad always says..."reduce your wants to your needs."  I'll let you be the judge of that one!

  Much love, your BFF, Fitfreak.  PS- if I need a Sherpa, can I call you?

Here comes ol' man winter!

Winter is finally here, and I don't mean the huge dump of snow that can happen anytime between November 1st and April 1st, but that bone-chilling, blinding frigid day where even your brain is cold. Lucky for me that as of 2:49 P.M. yesterday I AM READY FOR IT! That's when I happened to see my winter savior hanging on the rack at Ocean State Job Lot. I don't know what drew me to it, but I knew when I saw it we were made for each other (could be the sign that said "All Coats Now $20!)
Okay, I don't really NEED another winter coat but how could I resist a puffy, FLOOR LENGTH, down winter coat for $20??? And by floor length I mean that the bottom of the coat literally skims the floor! If I were an inch or two shorter, I'd be pulling trash along with me when I walk. It's the loveliest shade of pearl gray (or maybe it's really dove gray..or maybe it's really just a dirty shade of white...) It's got what Bed, Bath & Beyond calls ..."baffle box construction". That's what they call the stitching that keeps all the feathers from clumping in the corners...ON THEIR COMFORTERS! Same deal with my coat. Yes, I'll admit it did look a little like a bed covering when I tried it on, but I was distracted by the baking heat my body was generating inside the coat. I knew I shouldn't have snuck it into the coat rotation in the closet. This morning my husband called out, "Why is there a SLEEPING BAG hanging in the front hall closet?". Okay, I didn't buy it for FASHION (obviously!) I bought it for warmth! We're in single digits here people! Wind chill takin' it BELOW ZERO! I'm happy to report that my new best friend kept me toasty warm as I went from home to the gym to the grocery store and back (wearing workout pants and a T-SHIRT! A SHORTSLEEVED T-SHIRT!) It was like being snuggled in a sarcophagus of feathers. If I accidentally get lost in a blizzard somewhere between Trader Joe's and home and have to huddle in my car until rescue comes, I'll be ALL SET. So there.

One thing's for sure, I won't be wearing the hood.

That would be dorky.

The Blue Belt of Happiness

I admit, after 11 days with no school, it is a little daunting for EVERYONE to get back in the groove, even Mom. But I shook off the haze of eggnog and fruitcake (okay, actually Mike's Hard Lime and peanut butter M&Ms) and woke up at 5 today to kickstart my day with a spin class. I congratulated myself that I had already packed the backpacks last night and made the lunches before leaving the house at 5:45. After the kids were on the bus, I showered, ran three loads of laundry, loaded the dishwasher, made beds, put clean laundry away, packed the TaeKwonDo bag and my 4th grader's diorama in the back of the van, and went to meet a friend for a mid-morning movie and lunch (sinful, yes, but after my super-organized morning I deserved it, no?) After lunch, I ran a few more errands, picked the kids up at school, dropped off the diorama, swung through Dunkin'Donuts for a fat-free latte and a snack for the kids, then delivered them to their TaeKwonDo class. I'm QUEEN OF THE WORLD...

That is until my 4th grader noticed that I had packed his PURPLE belt instead of his BLUE belt. Quel horror! Now I'm lower than pig sh*t! Oh the tears, the red face, those hurtful three little words (no, not "That's okay Mom", but "I HATE YOU!") All this because I accidentally busted him down a rank?

Apparently the blue bird of happiness is a myth. You want real happiness? Pack the blue belt.

What's up with 5th grade?

My daughter handed me a notice today informing me of a sex ed parental night to be hosted at her school.  Now, I have plenty of sex ed, having had three children, ahem,...but apparently the town we live in feels the need to educate the PARENT as well as the child on what is happening with our sons and daughters as they grace into puberty.    

Couple of thoughts on this one.   Will this be the same video and info pack they had back when I was leaping off the cliff into teenager-hood?  I distinctly recall a health teacher informing us in a monotone voice that "any penis can fit into any vagina."  Not something I want my 11 year old to think about right now.  She still likes her teddy bear for goodness sakes!  I think we are pushing our kids out the door and into the big wide world too fast these days.  What ever happened to sex ed in 7th or 8th grade?  I just want to hold onto the little girl a wee bit longer.    I can't wait for tomorrow night....hope things haven't changed too much since 1982!!

For years I have been begging my good friend, L, to do some writing.  She is one of the best writers I know (besides myself, of course....).  I cannot think of a better way to start 2008 than by reading the thoughts, comments, feelings and life of two suburban haus fraus!!  I can tell you, you won't be disappointed!  Onward and upward my good friend!  

Happy New Year!

This is the brainchild of my good friend, JA. I can't imagine anyone is going to want to read the crazed ramblings of two stay-at-home moms, but we get a good laugh out of each other's lives, so who knows? Happy New Year to all our friends and family, it has been an...uh...interesting Christmas vacation and I can't think of a better way to start the new year than to PUT MY TWO KIDS BACK ON THE SCHOOL BUS TOMORROW AT 8:30!