Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Mothering then........mothering now.

The 1970's mom. Remember her? She was a cool cat, smoked her Virginia Slims or Parliament 100's. She worked or maybe she didn't. She was on the wave of feminism.......and how she was a mother may be a lot different from how you're a mother now. Or.... maybe not....

In the 1970's your mother sent you to the store with a note to get her a pack of smokes. Now, she wouldn't dare smoke around a child and if she does smoke.......she gets her own cigs and smokes in secret.

In the 1970's your mother didn't care how long you were outside or how far away you were....as long as you were home by street light time (which, by the way, in the summer was 8:45PM!) Now, she can call or text her child every 5 minutes and wouldn't dare let them go around the corner or be in the front yard without an adult.

In the 1970's your mother told you to get a tan.......that was your sunblock. Build up a tolerance to the sun. Now she coats her kid every time he/she sticks its nose outside. Including the scalp. (Man, I remember many a burn on my scalp.........and it hurt like heck too!)

In the 1970's your mother didn't exercise or obsessive over how thin or fat she was. She simply didn't care. Now, a mother demands to lose all the baby weight exactly one month after having her baby and starves/exercises herself constantly to unrealistically become the 17 year old she once was.

In the 1970's your mother didn't sit with you every night and do your homework with you. She might ask if you had any....or if it was done...but she sure as hell didn't sharpen your pencil for you and go through each problem one at a time. Now you sit with your child for hours correcting, erasing, prodding, hovering and making sure they don't fail.

In the 1970's your mother would backhand you into next week if you so much as smirked at her. Now mother's say things like "Timmy, it hurts my feelings when you punch me in the stomach" or "Sally, it's just not a good idea to spit in mommy's shoes."

In the 1970's your mother loved you. She cared for you and worried about you. But...she didn't hover over you, take shit from you or do everything for you. God love the 1970's moms!

Monday, February 23, 2009

Meanie

Hey kid!
Yeah........you over there. That's right....come here you little crapper.
Stop teasing my son.
Yes you are bullying him.
You called him a pussy and made fun of his broken hand. And I know you stole the basketball away from him about a thousand times.
Don't try to charm me with your sweet smile and Eddie Haskell ways. I've read your book and I know what chapter you are on. I was a victim once, never again.
Be warned you little twit.......what comes around goes around. And I guarantee you.........it will come around.

I'm jealous and that's it.

A lot of people I know went on vacation this past week. Some went skiing, some went to stay with family, some went to warmer climates. The updates on facebook of those surfing, skiing, reading by the pool, eating out and whatnot made me INSANE. I became a jealous, jealous, jealous person for a week. I wanted to go away, specifically somewhere warm and sunny and fun and full of tropical drinks and I could put my toes in the sand and sit on my fat ass and do nothing. But nooooooooooooooooooooo, there's this stupid ass thing called a RECESSION and my husband, who just happens to have a master's degree in finance aka penny pinching 101 said no way jose. And that's that. I could moan and whine and cry all I wanted....and the answer was not this year. Fu$%*ing recession.

Well just wait until next year bb's....I'll be damned if I am stuck here with dirty snow and 10 degree wind chills. I will save every penny and then some to get the hell out of here. So suck it recession world. Just suck it.

The Almost Moon

Over school vacation I had the pleasure of reading a book in ONE DAY! Don't you just love when you can turn a blind eye to everything and everyone around you and just immerse yourself in a good book? The book was called "Kissing Games of the World" and while it wasn't a life-changing book, it was definitely enjoyable read.

This brings me to the next book, one I happened to pluck off the "New" shelf at my local library. The book was called The Almost Moon by Alice Seibold. This is the same woman who wrote "The Lovely Bones", a book many of my friends fall all over themselves praising, a book which I found only mildly interesting (and overly morbid: girl is raped and murdered and tells the rest of the story from heaven... Lovely, indeed!)

I figured what the heck, this one can't be as morbid as the other one, right? Well, in the first few chapters, the mother of the protagonist, who is crazed out of her mind, shits her pants. The daughter then ROLLS THE MOTHER UP IN A BLANKET! She hauls her mom outside and smothers her to death. After panicking for a few moments, she calls her ex-husband to tell him what she has done, then she washes the shit off her mom, drags her to the cellar and PUTS HER IN THE FREEZER (this is after she dismisses the idea of dismembering her. Sounds like that old B-Movie I Dismember Mama)

At this point I closed the book and returned it to the library, but not before I trashed the first few chapters to anyone who would listen. Should I have stuck it out to the end? Was there really a life lesson to be learned from this book? Even if my mommy shit her pants, I doubt I would turn her into a blanket burrito and smother her with a bunch of towels.

At least I hope I wouldn't.