Turning a Deaf Ear

For days we have heard about the oncoming powerhouse that is Hurricane Ike. The television stations have run storm predictions, evacuations, damage assessments for what seems like forever. And today I read that 10s of THOUSANDS of residents of the great state of Texas ignored the warnings (what part of the phrase "certain death" don't you get?) and chose to stay in their homes. Now in addition to the clean-up, relocation and care of those who DID heed the warnings, Texas officials will have to spend precious time and money rescuing these dumb bastards.

I guess that prompts the question: How dumb do you have to be in order to live in Texas (and how dumb were we for electing one of them our president??? TWICE???)

I can understand not wanting to leave the home that you have cared for and paid for and created memories in for countless years. No one wants to sit and wonder if their home is being pummeled in 125 mph winds while they sit in a nice warm shelter. And even if your home does survive, what about looters afterwards?

Still, isn't it better to be alive with nothing than dead amongst the rubble of your house?

It reminds me of that e-mail that went around recently about the woman of deep faith who decided to stay in her home despite dire hurricane predictions. When a rescue worker in a fire truck came to evacuate her, she refused saying, "Thank you but the Lord will protect me". When the flood waters rose and she was trapped on her second floor, a boat came by and rescuers pleaded with her to come, to which she calmly replied, "No thank you, the Lord will protect me". And when the flood waters had reached the roof and rescuers came in a helicopter, she refused saying, 'No thank you, the Lord will protect me."

Next thing you know, the woman is in heaven, asking God why he didn't protect her. God replies, "I sent you a fire truck, a boat and a helicopter! What more did you want?"

It may not be God speaking to you when the governor of your state tells you to evacuate or face certain death, but it could be God speaking THROUGH your governor.

Good luck to all those folks in Texas and may God protect you.

Who is Sally Foster and Why Do I Hate Her?

Sally Foster comes home with my children the second week of school each year.  She's an overpriced bitch and I hate her.  Like Global Warming, if Sally Foster could be eradicated in our lifetime, mothers the world over would thank me.

For those of you who have never heard of Sally Foster...WHERE THE HELL HAVE  YOU BEEN??  Sally Foster is the catalog of beautiful but overpriced wrapping paper that each school child brings home the SECOND WEEK OF SCHOOL to beg for orders from friends and family.  To make matters worse, Sally Foster offers PRIZE INCENTIVES to children to get them to push MORE ORDERS.  All they see is the FREE IPOD NANO and they are hooked (they don't realize you need to sell 140 products (at about $10 a roll) to qualify!  If my kids are lucky, I will order one or two rolls from each and let them qualify for the free crappy key chain (this year's key chain features Tic Tac Toe:  OOOOO, challenging!

Here is the problem I have with Sally Foster:  EVERY SCHOOL SELLS IT!  That makes it impossible to sell to anyone other than immediate family, and ONLY if the immediate family members have no school age children.

At my son's preschool they had a fundraiser with cookie dough one year, frozen pretzels the next.  Those are things that I would be willing to buy.  Wrapping paper can be had for $1.99 a roll at Ocean State Job Lot or the Christmas Tree Shops.  I don't need $10 wrapping paper.  Why?  BECAUSE IT'S JUST GOING TO GET RIPPED TO SHREDS ANYWAY!!!

I think someone should look into a fundraiser featuring adult pleasure toys.  Can you see it now?  "Hello Ma'am, I'm trying to raise money for my school?  Would you be interested in some ben-wa balls, a Rabbit stimulator or a jar of cootchy cream?"

Our school would CLEAN UP!

Now vs. Then

I was thinking the other night of all the different activities my three children have participated in since, well, birth.  Here is a list of what they have done, what is available to them and what they do right now....(in no particular order.)

The Y indicates we have done it or are currently involved....

Gymboree - Y

Gymnastics - Y

Horseback Riding - Y

Golf

Tennis-Y

Swimming Lessons-Y

Football-Y

Soccer-Y Spring and Fall offered in our town

Lacrosse

Hockey

Skating Lessons-Y

Flag Football

Lego Robotics-Y

Boy Scouts

Girl Scouts

Brownies-Y

Tiger Scouts-Y

CCD - Religious Education-Y

Baseball - Y Spring, Summer and Fall are offered in our town

Basketball-Y

Karate-Y

Dance-Y

Cheerleading-Y

Softball

Field Hockey

and the list goes on and on....depending on where you live etc.

When I was a kid there was one option .....go out and play with the other kids.  

Wow, have times changed!   Do we really need our children to be involved in so much?  Are we trying to make super humans?  Now don't get me wrong....I think it's great to have a child participate in a few activities, it keeps them strong and motivated...but how much is enough and when is too much just too much?  Hmmmmm........when you figure it out.....let me know.  

Week and a Treat

I did something so deliciously selfish a couple of days ago....it was unreal.  

I went to the beach ALL BY MYSELF.  Yup....just me, myself and I.  The kids were in school and it was a gorgeous September day.  Bright blue skies, hot and well....just a perfect beach day.  I packed up my one towel, my one chair, my one sandwich, my one drink and a book and headed out.  It was delicious!  I spent about 2 hours sitting on my butt, tanning and relaxing, listening to the waves crash and the birds singing.  Glorious!   After about two hours I had to head home to the laundry, kids getting off the bus, homework, sibling fights and all the other crap that awaited me.  But for two hours I treated myself to MOMMY time.  

I decided that on a weekly basis I would take at least two hours of MOMMY time just for me.  It will become FITFREAK time.  I will go for a long walk, read a book uninterrupted, go to the beach, get a pedicure, window shop, meet a friend for lunch or breakfast, go to the library and sit in silence....etc.  Sounds good doesn't it?  

Here's the kicker....when I got home my kids found out I went to the beach....gasp!.....without them!  And guess what....they couldn't have cared less! So, now it's a rule in this house.....two hours minimum per week for me.  Now my fellow readers...don't continue to be a martyr....get out there and take some YOU time!  You'll be a better mother, wife, sister, friend, etc. by doing it!  And your kids and husband won't care one bit.