Survey Says...

Anyone getting that online survey from friends? Instead of filling in information about yourself (what color crayon would you be? What's your favorite food? Bleh!) you fill in information that you know about the sender. You also forward it to all your friends and see how much they know about you! Kind of fun and the answers have been funny to read. For example, apparently if I were stranded on a desert island, I would definitely bring FOOD, pineapple salad (which is a euphemism for something else, don't ask me what!) and according to Fitfreak "Crappy food and a shitload of Mike's Hard Limes".

Apparently my eyes are green, blue and greenish blue. No one got my middle name even though it's IN MY E-MAIL ADDRESS! (No, not staink... it's Asta) Words that come to mind when people hear my name are Fun, Curly (??!?) Great Laughs and my favorite, Funny as Hell (Thanks Fitfreak, that almost makes up for the crappy food remark!)

I definitely prefer this type of email because rather than getting unsolicited information about your friends according to THEM (I would be a purple crayon, I would be a lion, blah blah blah) you get solicited information about YOU according to THEM.

The only downside to this is the instructions. On the surface, they are pretty basic:

1) On receiving this survey, you are supposed to forward it to everyone you know, including the person who sent it to you (thereby inviting them to participate in the love/hatefest)

2) Hit Reply ONLY to the person who sent it to you so you can show them how much you know about them.

UNFORTUNATELY, there seem to be computer illiterate people who don't know the difference between Reply and Reply All. I'm getting multiple emails from complete strangers asking me for information about them (sorry, don't know you from a hole in the wall) , and giving me information about our mutual friend who sent this survey to me in the first place. (Sorry, don't give a shit that you met my friend at Star Land/the ball field/school, or ANYWHERE! If you met them during sex re-assignment surgery, then I might care!)

If there was ever a need for BLIND CARBON, this is it!

20 years????

This will be a quick blog.....as I have to get the kiddos off to school and me off to teach my heinously hard spin class.  Here is the jig....my 20 YEAR high school reunion is coming up!  HORROR!   I cannot believe it has been 20 years since I graduated.  Where the hell has the time gone?  It seems like only yesterday my hair was teased and Aqua Net sprayed up into a 12 inch halo of fluff, I was jammin to Duran Duran and General Hospital was the HOT show on tv.  

I've been asked to serve on the reunion committee.  Should be interesting...or funny....or even scary!  Can't wait to fill you all in on the details!!!!   Stay tuned!!!!!!!  

BTW - I was a DORK in high school which should make this all the more interesting.  C'mon....admit it, you wanna know who got fat, who got skinny, who got divorced, who got gay and all the other juicy details.  My high school = your high school.   No worries - real names will not be given!

Everyday is groundhog day......

Do you remember that movie....Groundhog Day?  I think it starred Bill Murray and Andie McDowell.  The general gist of the film was that the guy got stuck in some kind of time warp thing and everyday he woke up and it was the same day, over and over.  

Right about now, I start feeling like every day is groundhog day.  I get up, get the kids ready for school, make lunches, make breakfast, make beds, yell at kids to brush teeth, get them to bus stop on time (usually), clean house, do laundry, write my blog, workout, work other people out, food shopping, answer emails/phone calls, get kids off the bus, yell at kids to do homework, snacks, after school activities, dinner, showers for kids, bedtime.  And repeat for tomorrow.  And the tomorrow after that and so on and so on and so on........

I suppose the endless gray days of snow, sleet, rain, freezing rain don't help.  When the sun is out...we all feel a bit peppier.  Maybe a vacation is in order.  Hold that thought....the kids just came off of Christmas vacation.  Hmmm, maybe a vacation is in order for ME????  Well, um, I just had a long weekend with my hubby in San Fran so I am all set in that department.  So, what is it exactly?

Certainly I am grateful for the monotony of life.  I know the other side ......constant ups and downs of dealing with a sick loved one and being on call at all hours of the day and night.  I know that my children are more or less healthy and my hubby too.  Very grateful for that.   Further, as you all know (mommy sabbatical blog) I do get out and see my friends and spend a little quality time for myself etc.   

I guess this is the treadmill of life.  Sometimes it's plodding along at a 4.0 pace.... sometimes it's a 10 level hill ..... and sometimes you gotta sprint at 7.0.  

I'm a 4.0 right now, and that's cool with me.  

Give it up Baby!

So Lent is here. Not being Catholic, I don't have to worry about some kind person signaling that I have dirt on my forehead. But I will still participate in the giving up of something I cherish. This also coincides with trying to lose a few pounds (see the humiliation at Weight Watchers post...) So what to give up?

Most of the time, I try chocolate which is DAMNED HARD! Especially since I usually have at least one child's birthday between now and Easter (and some years both my kids have birthdays during Lent and I do too!!!) But since I have ballooned in weight this past year I'm going to try giving up sweets.

How about a little definition here? What constitutes a sweet? Obviously donuts, ice cream, cookies, cake and candy. Does Fat Free Sugar Free Hot Chocolate count? How about sugar free jello? Can I still put fat free French Vanilla creamer in my coffee?

C'mon, throw me a frickin bone here, Jesus wouldn't want me to murder my entire family because my DNA was deprived of EVERYTHING sweet. Think how things are going to be around here when that PMS kicks in and there's no PEANUT BUTTER M&Ms to placate me!

I asked my 4th grader what he would give up and after some debate he said cookies. Then he realized that the school will be giving away free cookies on Valentine's Day, so his next suggestion was trying not to eat the entire bag of Tostios in one sitting (oh yeah, he can do it!) I suggested that rather than give up something, he try to adopt a habit during Lent, primarily BEING NICER TO HIS YOUNGER BROTHER!!! We'll see how that goes.

So here's to a season of deprivation, sadness and reflection. I'm curious what you all are giving up. Feel free to post and let me know! And remember, only 46 more days till Easter! (I'll be up at 12:01 a.m. ripping open that bag of Peanut Butter M&M's)

Signs of the Times

If there's one thing I cannot stand, it's cutsey spellings on signs. As I drive through town, they jump out at me like a suicidal squirrel. Some make sense, others not so much. Here goes:

Our gas station called The Town Pump. Pretty apt, though I can't help thinking it references the town slut.

Pottery Playce: Okay, I guess the "y" was added to make you think you can actually PLAY there, but if you've ever taken a child into a location where the shelves are filled with BREAKABLE POTTERY, you'd think twice about adding the "Y".

Primitive Thymes: This was a store owned by a friend, and the spelling used to drive me crazy. Was it referencing some ancient herb that had been discovered (hey Professor, look here, we just unearthed a 3 thousand year old SPICE RACK!!)

Artvarks: This is a new location where parents can bring their kids to do art projects. What the hell do aardvarks have to do with gluing macaroni to the lid of a jewelry box?

Feat of Clay: Another pottery place (not PLAYCE!) but I actually think this is kind of clever.

Hafta Havit and Hafta Havit 2 (couldn't they have just gone with Hafta Havit and named their other location Gotta Getit? )

Any store that adds an "e" to the end of its name in the vain attempt to make it sound old (Ye Olde Candle Shoppe! Ick!)

Kozy Korner: WHY WHY WHY??? THEY BOTH BEGIN WITH 'C', WHY????????

Then there's the sloppy misspellings, which are bad enough on a changeable marquee, but when a permanent sign is crafted that says "Seasonel Pool and Patio" there's JUST NO EXCUSE! (a nitpicker like me must have called them, because a few weeks later there was a new permanent sign that said "Seasonal Pool and Patio"... Ahh, that's better!)

And then there is the most heinous one of all:

FOR THA WIDDLE ONES!

ARRGGGHHH!! That always made me want to smash the owner with a ball peen hammer! A store for handpainted children's furniture, I am happy to say it finally closed (thank GOD because it was located right next to my kids TaeKwonDo studio and that would have just been TOO MUCH for me to bear three times a week!) I can see "Widdle" (though it sounds like a pedophiliac Elmer Fudd is running the joint) but why change The to Tha????? And if you're going to do that, why not go whole hog and change Ones to Onze!

Glad I got that off my chest. If there are any signs you notice that might irritate me further, please feel free to post! In the meantime, take a run by Salon Sarode and check out their R-rated marquee which changes weekly. It's always spelled correctly and its ALWAYS funny!

And I ponder.......

Why do bathing suits not fit like underwear?  I look pretty good in my undies, but the second I put on a bathing suit it pinches and pokes all my jiggly bits into broad daylight.

Why is the school lunch menu like an appetizer menu?  Nachos, bacon cheeseburger, chicken dippers, and tacos?  No wonder the youth of america are getting larger.

Why does the cat stare at me thru the window all day?  Get a job meow-head.  or maybe it's me that should be employed, somewhat gainfully.

Why do kids have more friggin homework and projects these days than I can ever remember?  Where is the joy and the fun?  Seasons in the sun?

Why is daytime TV so deplorable?  There are people who work at night, do they not deserve nighttime quality TV during the day?

Why is laundry never ending?

Does anyone EVER call those 1-800 numbers that are  stapled to various telephone poles ( ya know the ones, lose weight fast or re-finance your mortgage.)?

Your thoughts readers?

Eating my words

I am a fitness trainer.  I encourage people to work out as hard as humanly possible for as long as they can stand it.  I believe that if you run, spin, do the stairmaster, etc. and basically push yourself until you feel like you are going to puke when working out then you will get the results you want.  I always said if you can walk.... you can run.  So get those legs movin'!   Well, guess what?  I may have been a tiny bit wrong.  Just a tiny bit.  

Walking ......... is.............very...........good.........for.............you!

Yup, taking hour long walks several times a week is great for the body AND mind!  I was forced into this revelation this past month.  I suffered a stress fracture in my left foot over the Thanksgiving holiday.  The doctor said no run fun for 8-12 weeks.   If I ignored him (which I usually do) and the foot re-broke....then I would need surgery and a pin inserted in the bone.  Ummmmmm, scary, ouchy!  So, I have been FORCED to do less full body impact desired exercise.  That means....no run fun for me.  What's a Fitfreak to do????  

I have ramped up the spin class, stayed on the elliptical until my heart is pumping out of my chest and taken up long ass walks several times a week.  And I feel great!  I've even lost an inch off those stubborn hips.   I still long to run, but I know that I am still working pretty darn hard on those walks.  (I am NOT strolling along, tra, la, la, la ..... nope, move your butt like you are trying to get to a 75% off sale at Old Navy.)

So, I eat my words.  Now.........go take a walk.