I AM IRONMAN (NOT!)

Recently my spin teacher disappeared for a month.  I knew that he was training for some triathlon but couldn't understand why that would impact teaching our class.  Then someone said he was training for the IRONMAN.  Aside from the Robert Downy Jr. film, I needed some more information. After some research I discovered that the Ironman event is a 2.4 mile swim, a 112 mile bike ride and a FULL MARATHON RUN!  I now put these Ironman triathletes in the same catagory as people who want to climb Mount Everest... CRAZY!

When the Ironman was finished, our gym put a sign up acknowledging his achievement and praising him for his amazing time, which was somewhere in the neighborhood of TEN AND A HALF HOURS!!!  Okay, let me go on record to say that if I had 10 and a half hours of unbroken, uninterrupted time, I would probably not push my body to its very limits of endurance.  Here are some of the things I would do with that kind of time:

Read a book from cover to cover

Watch all three Lord of the Rings films back to back

Go to the movies and see 4 different movies

Sleep

Two words:  SPA DAY

Remove the wallpaper from my bathroom

Spend the time with 3 or 4 close friends laughing my ass off

To each his own.  I have the highest admiration for someone who can do what I cannot.  Now cue Ozzy Osborne:  "...I AM IRONMAN..."

Vacation All I Ever Wanted......

I just got back from vacation.  Woo Hoo!  It was really fun to get away from it all and just sit back and chill for a week with the hubby and kids.  In general it was a great week...except for the torrential rain but you can't control the weather,  can ya???  I had some thoughts while I was away...and these are in no particular order....

1.  I do not like to go poop anywhere but on my own little home potty.  

2.  Not going poop on my own little potty for days on end causes major stomach problems.

3.  Stomach problems are not rectified with margaritas.

4.  Everyone in the world has either a piercing or a tattoo.  I was shocked to see so many, many people either tatted or holed up.  Gross.

5.  It is possible to get sick of eating out.  Seven lunches and nights of restaurant food can give you a tummy ache.  See #1 for further details.

6.  I never pack the right stuff.  In addition to the torrential rain, it was approximately 62 degrees every day.  (It's friggin August!  80's and 90's are the norm!!!)  This resulted in shopping for sweatshirts, sweatpants, and jeans.  Oh, and the fact that I had to get some of them at the Polo Outlet is not my fault.

7.  Oh the humanity of a public pool or waterpark.  I just can't get over the fact of half nude people waddling all around me.  I mean, for gawds sake, these people are basically wearing underwear!  If I wanted to see the world in their underwear I would be a fly...so I could be the "fly on the wall."  

8.  Your kids can swim in the pouring rain and think it's fun.

9.  Not a great idea to take a 8 year old mildly autistic boy horseback riding.

10.  Don't you just love a condo that has a washer/dryer en suite?  How sweet is that?  

11.  Onion rings are good....very damn good.  

12.  The making of a good margarita requires skill and talent.  Not all bartenders have it.  

13.  I don't like amusement park rides.  They are scary and weird.  Why the hell would I want to get on a flying reindeer roller coaster?  Especially when the sign entering the park said "some rides may be on delay due to the inclement weather.  Braking systems need to be dry."  Gee, thanks.  Death by reindeer.  How poetic.

14.  Is there anything grosser that a public bathroom?  Wet. Dank. Smelly. Pee on seat.  YUCK.  I hate them!!!!!!!!

15.  Spending 8 days with my three children and husband is worth it all.  We had so much fun! Many laughs and lots of smiles.  Despite rain, cold, and constipation....it was one hell of a vacation!