It's all just a little bit 'o history repeating...

Here is how yesterday began. My first grader rolled out of bed 45 minutes before the bus and announced that he needed "...6 or 7 photos of me from birth till now for a timeline..."

$&%^#%!@!!!!!!

Okay, my fault, I did see the notice days before, I chose to put it on the back burner and it came back to bite me in the ass. So I flew down to the playroom and hauled out all the shoeboxes of photos crammed under the desk, sifting frantically for photos of my youngest child starting with his birth and ending with the current year.

Now picture the thought bubbles floating over my head as I scanned through packs and packs of photos: "Is this him, is THIS HIM? No, that's the 4th grader, dammit, where is that picture of him at Kindergarten, why are all these pictures of my first child and WHERE ARE ALL THE ONES OF THE SECOND??????"

Now growing up, I was a middle child, with two sisters. I was convinced that I was adopted because there were ten thousand baby pictures of my older sister, and only one of me (and I'm still not convinced that IS me!) The idea that I could be adopted was laughable since I was a carbon copy of my own mother. Still, I was sure that the reason there were no pictures of me until age 2 was because I wasn't a biological part of the family.

After the birth of my first son, my husband and I took millions of photos and hours of video, even editing an incredible First Birthday video montage complete with music (hey, it pays to be married to a video editor!) We SWORE if we had another child we would lavish the same amount of film and screen time on him.

HA!

Now in my defense, I will say that the digital age of photography has exploded since the birth of my second child. I do have TONS of pictures of him (he actually is quite photogenic, always willing to cram a hot dog in his mouth or peep out of a garbage can for a great photo op!) but all the pictures exist on my computer!

Remember the post where I wondered about all the things I might actually not have time to complete? I think it's time to bump scrapbooking up to the top of the list.

The bright side to all this? I complained to Fitfreak that all my pictures are stuffed into boxes and she asked "Do you want me to come over and organize all your photos??? I LOVE doing that!"

Where would we be without friends?

Family Time

I love Friday nights.  My husband is usually home before 6:00 ( a miracle within itself) the kids are relaxed after a long week of school, and we have the whole weekend ahead of us.  

Friday nights used to be hitting the ATM at 8:30PM, pulling out $100, and meeting up with a bunch of friends for drinks and laughs....usually with an ending of about 2AM.  Sure, those were some good times.  Some of the best!!  That's how I met my man for goodness sakes!  

Now, my Friday nights are centered on pizza, a glass of wine, a family movie or game and hanging out with my shorties and husband and hitting the hay at about 9:30.  And I love it.  I wouldn't trade it for anything.  Sometimes getting older has its advantages.....and this is one of them!

Thought for the Day!

There will be no earth-shattering revelations today, I am TOO CRAZED with all the Pampered Chef shows I am doing this weekend, as well as a brunch I am hosting at my own home on Sunday! But I did have to share one funny thing:

One thing I love about Fitfreak is her unwavering belief in a higher power. As she mentioned, she came through my house like a white Tornado on Monday and completely reorganized my kitchen and dining room. One of the things she took upon herself was to re-pot some plants we have had for DECADES and put them in smaller pots in the living room. Unfortunately, she didn't water them and it didn't occur to me to water the plants till Wednesday. They are pretty sad and droopy and I mentioned this to Fitfreak.

Her response, "Yeah, maybe that's God's way of telling you to get NEW PLANTS!"

That got me thinking. With all the tsunamis, earthquakes, wars, racism, hate and despair in the world, doesn't God have more important things to do than to signal ME that it's TIME TO BUY NEW PLANTS?????

Thanks Fitfreak. What would I do without a BFF like you to put it all in perspective!

Addendum to Neatfreak

Yes, I admit, I was lax in my ability to post about Fitfreak (a.k.a Neatfreak's) purging of my kitchen. I started to post about it, but was waylayed by all that blood! She did me an amazing service, her crap-purging abilities have spurred me to work on other areas of the house (yesterday I spent all day organizing my kids Lego pieces by COLOR!) So thank you but I must correct something on your post.

I DO NOT NOR DID I EVER HAVE CRAPPY POTS OR PANS IN MY HOUSE!

All of my PAMPERED CHEF COOKWARE is either GREAT or KICK ASS! Even before I purchased my PAMPERED CHEF COOKWARE, I had ALL-CLAD in my kitchen. NO CRAP!!

I was able to RELOCATE the pots and pans to other areas of the kitchen since we got rid of so many spices, sport bottles, serving pieces, etc.

I believe the only crappy pans I got rid of were some METAL loaf pans. Let's face it STONEWARE is better!

There. I feel SO much better now!

Have a great day! And if anyone is interested in a lovely Southern Living at Home Pot Rack, I have no need for it!

Neatfreak or Fitfreak?

There is a war going on inside my head.  Many of you may not know this, but I have a double identity.  I am fitfreak, of course, but I am also neatfreak.  Fitfreak is there every day, encouraging me when I need to get my butt on the elliptical or power through a particularly hellish spin class....but neatfreak too is always lurking around.    For years I have been borderline OCD with neatness.  When I was a child, I would line up all my stuffed animals according to size and color, I had all of my books, toys, and knick knacks perfectly lined up, and my laundry always immediately put away.   My tiny room (referred to as JA's nest) was in complete and total order.  (One caveat, I hated dusting.  It was neat, but dusty.  I still hate it.)

In addition to that, I discovered a penchant for filling out forms.  I had three older siblings who all attended college at once (oy vey!  My poor parents...and I mean POOR!).  My mother would sit me down and together we would fill out the endless financial aid forms, tax forms, college loan forms etc. all in triplicate.  And I loved it.  Talk about neatness and order!  Forms are the ultimate!  Okay, okay, I know I am weird.  

The other day I stopped over at my pal Flossy's house.  It was MLK day and I brought my youngest shortie with me so he could spend some lego induced insanity with her youngest shortie.  While the shorties were busy in the basement designing new and improved lego warfare machines....we were busy upstairs discussing where she should hang a recently purchased pot rack. 

Flash forward three hours later.........two giant contractor bags are filled with crap, I re-potted three plants, we dumped 95% of her spices in the trash, reorganized all of her cabinets and drawers, cleaned and purged her now sparkling (thank you, thank you) dining room of all useless trinkets and whatnots.  It was, in a word, exhilarating!  My neat madness sprung from me like an uncaged lion...and oh boy, was Flossy happy for it!  Her house now has order, calmness, an aura of a dignified family...sort, of.  :)    Oh yeah, and we never hung the pot rack.  She didn't need to after dumping half of her crappy pans.  

So, should I start a new career?  Hmmm....  Fitfreak vs. Neatfreak.  Not sure...but I know I still love to fill out forms and make a drawer clean and snappy.

There Will Be Blood

WARNING! Those of you who are squeamish at all should NOT READ THIS POST! If you continue on, please do not complain, because I WARNED YOU!

There...that being said...

I'm BLEEDING like a STUCK PIG!

Who here can remember back to their first period? Was it like the ads for maxi pads? You nervously approached your mom and shyly murmured that at last you had finally "got it." Was she thrilled? Did she marvel that her little girl was finally a woman? Did you hug and did everything go all soft-focusey???

Mine was more like that scene from Carrie, where she's FREAKING OUT because she thinks she's bleeding to death. Sure, I had read "Are You There God, It's Me Margaret." and of course "Growing Up And Liking It" (our handy little 6th grade pamphlet sponsored by Kotex or Stay-Free or God knows who!) I expected that there would be cramps, maybe a little nausea, a light flow of blood and a warm hug. What I didn't expect was the Red Sea flowing between my legs complete with Oh-My-God-ARE-THOSE-CLOTS?!?!

Okay, I did warn you!

Apparently, I had inherited my Danish grandmother's HUGE feet and severe menstrual periods. Oh, and her heavy bone structure, thanks! After a YEAR of suffering each month, countless trips to the nurse's office, becoming a pariah of the slumber party set, my mother finally hauled me off to the gynecologist who promptly put me on the pill. Hooray, problem solved!

Since I was only off the pill just long enough to get pregnant, my monthly period never returned to the nightmare of my teenage years... UNTIL NOW!

Now, I guess I had forgotten just how bad it was when I was a teenager. Sure, I had to deal with that junk that comes out of you right after you give birth (not the placenta, the lochia). Remember that pleasant experience? I remember the nurse saying that I should let them know if clots came out that were BIGGER THAN MY FIST!!!! What the FUCK??? CLOTS THE SIZE OF MY FIST ARE ACCEPTABLE?????

Two kids, two births, right back to the pill so I could get back to practically zero menstrual period. I loved it! Then my husband had to spoil it by getting snipped. Now there's no excuse to be on the pill, and frankly at my age it's not an option. Menopause is peeking around the corner at me but IT"S NOT COMING FAST ENOUGH BECAUSE I"M RIGHT BACK WHERE I STARTED AT 13!!!! If what comes out during your period is the "lining" of your womb, then I must be lining a friggin TWO FAMILY HOUSE IN SOUTHIE!

Apparently this is a common problem amongst women "my age" (and even younger, right Fitfreak??) A friend and I were just chatting about this and her comment was "I don't even bother with tampons anymore, it's like putting a q-tip in a hallway!" I never thought I would go through an entire box of OB tampons (Super!) in one day, and I mean the JUMBO pack. So I picked up the phone and made an appointment with the gynecologist. No pill for me, no IUD, I will not be satisfied until I get that amazing ABLATION that basically CAUTERIZES your uterus! I'm finally understanding what drove my friends to that point. If I can't get the gynecologist to sign off on it, then Mr. Flossy better get out his blowtorch!

So if you come to my house in the next day or two I must warn you...There Will Be Blood.