Eat, Drink & Be Merry - St. Patty's Day!!!

An Irish Blessing - Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!

May good luck be your friend

in whatever you do

And may trouble be always

A stranger to you.

May your home be filled with laughter

May your pockets be filled with gold

And may you have all the happiness

your Irish heart can hold.

May your blessings outnumber

The Shamrocks that grow

And may trouble avoid you

Wherever you go.

But most importantly....

May you be half an hour in Heaven

Before the Devil knows you're dead.

And now a joke......

An irishman is speeding down the Conor Pass, when a woman comes hurtling round the corner. He swerves to avoid her, but as she passes she leans out and the window and screams "PIG!"

Astonished, the man turns and yells back, "Ya Bitch!" as he reaches the bend and crashes into a pig.

Cock of the Walk

As I look out at the dreary, rainy Massachusetts morning I am trying not to dwell on the fact that exactly one week ago I was eating French onion soup and gazing at the Eiffel Tower. I'm resigned to be back in mommy-mode, even with my 7-year old's birthday party at the ARCADE looming tomorrow.

I wanted to just share with you some of the observations I made while I was in England. Namely, that the citizens there are OBSESSED WITH SEX!

Okay, maybe I'm a little repressed, but it seemed to me that every place we went there were references to the male...uh...member.
Or sex...
or both.

My friend lives in Crouch End (crouch, what an awful word, almost as bad as SQUAT!). Why are you crouching on your end? For some sexual purpose?

Technically, the town she lives in is called HORNSEY (I kept picturing Austin Powers saying "Do I make you HORNSEY baby?") At one time we traveled through HORNSEY RISE!

As we were traveling by bus we kept hearing the announcement that we were heading towards SHAFTSBURY. If you prefer, you could travel to ST. JOHN'S WOOD! Or SHEPHARD'S BUSH (A nod to the ladies there!)

If you prefer not to take the bus you can take the subway or as they call it THE TUBE! And when you are on the TUBE be sure to MIND THE GAP (that's a warning not to fall in the space between the train and the platform, but STILL...)

Don't forget that some of the folks over there speak COCKNEY! 'Ello govnuh, care for some BANGERS AND MASH?

And when you are all done traveling (Watch out for the speed bumps in the road, they are called HUMPS!) you could head over to MONKEY NUTS (yes we ate there!) and enjoy some SPOTTED DICK (that's a dessert! I have a can of it in my kitchen now!)

Okay, is it just me?

Brace for Re-Entry

Let me begin by stating that I have absolutely NO reason to complain about my lot in life when I just got back from a fun-filled weekend in LONDON and PARIS (Paris was a surprise!) I was able to spend some quality time with my best friend who took me to all the best spots for food, shopping and site-seeing. My biggest decision each day was whether to have almond or chocolate croissant for breakfast. So please don't think me a whiny, overindulged hausfrau when I say...

Re-entry is a bitch.

Okay, its not just the time (though to be fair, the UK is 5 hours ahead of the US and then you all went and changed the CLOCKS over here while I was gone!) But my body has pretty much caught up with the differences.

Its my own fault that my return from London was scheduled for a week that included a 7-year old's birthday, two Pampered Chef parties and a birthday party for said 7-year-old at the ARCADE!!!

Why did I do that to myself?

My kids were so happy to see me Monday night (or rather, happy to see the goodies I brought back from across the pond!) and I basked in the afterglow of my amazing trip and the love of my much-missed family.

Of course reality came crashing back to me the next morning when my kids would not get OUT OF BED. I had to revert to my usual screechy mommy voice, threatening them with bodily harm if they didn't get their asses out of bed THIS INSTANT!

After shoving them onto the school bus and cursing the fact that Tuesday is early release day, I contemplated the state of my house. Though my husband tried to keep things in order while I was away, there was my luggage to unpack, dirty laundry to wash and Pampered Chef catalogs to stamp. Not to mention phone calls to answer so I could relay to all my friends the details of the most wonderful weekend.

All too soon my little DARLINGS were screaming off the bus, bursting through the door, dumping their backpacks and coats on the hall floor and demanding snacks. More screeching on my part to get them to finish their homework before it was time to saddle up, pick up their friend and head to TaeKwonDo.

Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled that I had this weekend away. It makes me appreciate all that I have, both as an individual and as part of a family unit. I got to remember what it was like to be carefree, responsible for only my own schedule and well-being. But as I said, re-entry is a bitch!

The night I returned my little one crawled into bed in the middle of the night. When my husband asked him what he was doing, he said "I'm just helping Mommy get her groove back!"

Soldier on!