Fly the Friendly Skies

First the good news: I am going to LONDON tomorrow.
Now the bad: I HAVE TO FLY TO GET THERE!

One of my best friends of all time has been living in London for the last two years. After countless requests to come visit (and my excuses of no time, no money, no one to watch the kids...) I finally decided that life's too short so I booked a flight and I leave tomorrow. Mr. Flossy will take just a couple of days off from work, he and our boys will enjoy wonderful family bonding and I will get a much needed break from mommy-hood to spend with my freewheeling single BFF.

First there is my luggage. Right now it is filled with reduced-fat microwave popcorn, Quaker Instant Oatmeal, Extra Strength Excedrin and Static Guard. Apparently the UK is about twenty years behind on many of these modern conveniences and my American-born friend needs them. According to my friend, they have JUST GOTTEN REAL ZIPLOC BAGS! Though of course, there is only ONE store that carries them! I can't wait to see the expression on the face of the security guard who watches my luggage go through the scanner. I'm a little concerned about the Static Guard, since aerosols are not exactly smiled upon even in checked bags. See I went to this website, www.airsafe.com to see what I can and CAN'T take both in my checked bag and my carry on. Here's what I learned:

Billy clubs, black jacks, brass knuckles, stunguns and throwing stars are NOT allowed in carry-on but you CAN check them.
Ditto for ice picks, meat cleavers, sabers, cattle prods and spearguns.

Of course explosives of any kind are not allowed, but neither are realistic replicas of explosives. That mean's I'll have to leave that large black ball with the flaming fuse and the word ACME printed on it at home.

Surprisingly, infectious materials like lab specimens, viral organisms and bacterial cultures are not allowed in either carry on OR checked baggage. So I guess that means I can't bring that ebola sample I've been keeping in the back of the fridge.

Now everyone who knows me knows that I HATE to fly! When I told Mr. Flossy about how I especially hate flying over water at night, he laughed and said, "Hey, if something happens to the plane, it doesn't matter whether its day or night, over water or the ground.".

Thanks!

While checking out this airsafe website, I noticed a link that said Fear of Flying. I clicked on it, hoping to get some helpful tips on how to chill out. There were several books recommended, a few CDs to consider, some helpful suggestions, and a highlighted link titled A Note on Turbulence.

I clicked the link since I grow rigid at the least little bump, thinking there would be a reassuring tidbit about how turbulence is no big deal. Here's what it said: Turbulence is a common occurrence on many airline flights and the presence of turbulence may make a passenger nervous or uncomfortable. The following links provide background information on turbulence and turbulence-related events. The next link was labeled: SELECTED FATAL TURBULENCE EVENTS!!!

Click the link and you can see the top 10 most recent instances of passengers who DIED FROM TURBULENCE!!!

This prompted a call to my primary care physician for a prescription that would knock me out for the duration of the flight.

Then there was the question of what to wear? My flight departs at 7:45 P.M., arrives in London at 7:00 A.M. Since I want to be able to go go go when I get to London, I'm hoping to sleep a little on the flight. A friend and I went shopping the other night and picked out a comfortable but not too tacky grey velour sweatsuit. I figured I could wear it with my fur vest, some subtle jewelry and some cute metallic toned casual sneakers. When I mentioned this to my London friend, she went BALLISTIC!

"YOU CAN'T WEAR THAT", she screamed at me across the Atlantic via AT&T. "YOU'LL LOOK LIKE A TACKY AMERICAN TOURIST WHO HAS NEVER LEFT THE COUNTRY!"

Um, lets see. I am a middle aged soccer mom who drives a MINIVAN, sells PAMPERED CHEF, coaches LEGO ROBOTICS and is about 40 lbs overweight. Ain't no outfit gonna change THAT! And you know what? I AM an American who hardly ever leaves the country (if you don't count Canada or the semester abroad I did more than 20 years ago!) I told her I was going to swap my grey sweatsuit in for a RED WHITE AND BLUE ONE, ADD A FANNY PACK AND A PAIR OF SNEAKERS. JUST FOR FUN I'LL ADD A PAIR OF READING GLASSES ON A BEJEWELED CHAIN AROUND MY NECK! AND A COWBOY HAT!

Those Brits are gonna LOVE me!

I may not be able to blog until I return, but if there's anything worth passing along, I'll send it via Mr. Flossy (who's AKA Mr. Mom this weekend!)

Cheerio!