As I look out at the dreary, rainy Massachusetts morning I am trying not to dwell on the fact that exactly one week ago I was eating French onion soup and gazing at the Eiffel Tower. I'm resigned to be back in mommy-mode, even with my 7-year old's birthday party at the ARCADE looming tomorrow.
I wanted to just share with you some of the observations I made while I was in England. Namely, that the citizens there are OBSESSED WITH SEX!
Okay, maybe I'm a little repressed, but it seemed to me that every place we went there were references to the male...uh...member.
Or sex...
or both.
My friend lives in Crouch End (crouch, what an awful word, almost as bad as SQUAT!). Why are you crouching on your end? For some sexual purpose?
Technically, the town she lives in is called HORNSEY (I kept picturing Austin Powers saying "Do I make you HORNSEY baby?") At one time we traveled through HORNSEY RISE!
As we were traveling by bus we kept hearing the announcement that we were heading towards SHAFTSBURY. If you prefer, you could travel to ST. JOHN'S WOOD! Or SHEPHARD'S BUSH (A nod to the ladies there!)
If you prefer not to take the bus you can take the subway or as they call it THE TUBE! And when you are on the TUBE be sure to MIND THE GAP (that's a warning not to fall in the space between the train and the platform, but STILL...)
Don't forget that some of the folks over there speak COCKNEY! 'Ello govnuh, care for some BANGERS AND MASH?
And when you are all done traveling (Watch out for the speed bumps in the road, they are called HUMPS!) you could head over to MONKEY NUTS (yes we ate there!) and enjoy some SPOTTED DICK (that's a dessert! I have a can of it in my kitchen now!)
Okay, is it just me?
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1 comment:
My goodness....I would say those brits are far more sexually open than us americanos. But, really, I think it's YOU gov'nah! You need to get some spotted dick asap and I ain't talking about the kind in a can!
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