Just in Time for Christmas

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20 years.......

It's the class of 1988 redux! Last night was my 20th high school reunion. It was a doozy. First let me preface this with what I have done to myself to get myself into tip-top, foxy mama, shape. This would include pain searing workouts with my BFF Cardioqueen, running until my legs are flopping behind me, not eating or drinking anything decent FOR MONTHS and withholding my constant picking at my fingernails so they would grow to a decent length. I bought a snazzy and expensive dress from Banana Republic, had my hair cut and highlighted, had dental work done, bought f-me high heel shoes and fabulous jewlery. Plus the cost of the ticket and the drinks when I got there. I was determined to go back looking and feeling like a million bucks. Did it work? Yup. I felt great! It was an absolute ball to be with four of my best friends and re-live the big 80's. We watched videos, sifted through pictures and laughed our asses off. I can tell you one thing.....I was a bad, bad, BAD teenager! It's by the grace of God that I am alive and well today. Really.

I spent 5 or so hours hanging with the class of 1988. Many of them were there, the geeks, the jocks, the PIBS, the Duran Duran wannabe's, the popular kids.....all of them. I had a few revelations as the night went on.......here they are:

It fascinated me to no end that each person I saw looked more or less the exact same....especially the girls. They all looked great. You could tell that perhaps they too had starved and worked themselves to death just like me. Most of the guys were balding and a little overweight...but ok.

I kept thinking it was so odd to see these people with wives, husbands, kids. They are forever a teenager in my mind.....seeing them as Mom or Dad or buying a house or working in a big-time job blows my mind.

Several people DID NOT RECOGNIZE ME!!!!!!! That was just straight out weird. I don't look that different do I? I look at pictures of myself in high school and I look like a younger, skinnier, almost baby like version of myself.......but I'm still me!

I was very glad I went. I had a lot of fun. But that's it for me folks. It was great to see everyone and who they are and what they have become.......but really the 20 year mark is enough. In 30 or 40 years were all just the same........births, marriages, divorces, deaths, and so on. I would prefer to keep everyone in mind just the way I saw them all last night. Happy.

Rock on Class of 1988.........Rock on.

Spin 2

There seems to be a never ending cast of characters in my spinning class.  I've already mentioned the carrot (or the tan-addict, as I call her).  There's the guy who wears sunglasses in class (he's not blind, what's going on???)  Then there's the guy who never seems to wash his bike shorts, so if you happen to get stuck behind him, you get a whiff of butt funk every time he plunks his smelly ass down on the bike seat.

Today beat them all.  An incredibly fit woman came into spin class and hopped on one of the bikes right in front of the instructor.  All was fine till she took her warm-up shirt off to reveal a sports bra which could BARELY CONTAIN HER ENORMOUS IMPLANTS!!!

I had a side view of her, and it looked like a bagel was trying to burst through her skin just under her armpits.  The poor instructor was trying to look ANYWHERE but straight ahead of him.  He noticed my friend Donna and I giggling in the back row and actually said, "Yeah, you should be sitting where I am right now".

I understand, if you're going to get implants, you want people to look at them, right?  But is the spin class really the place to flaunt your super-fake, oversized, permanently-high-beamed hooters?

I think not.

Let us all give Thanks!

Thanksgiving approaches and here is a list of things for which I give Thanks:

I'm thankful that I don't have to carry an infant around in a car seat

I'm thankful for my friends who make me laugh EVERY day

I'm thankful for my children (especially when they don't fight)

I'm thankful for my children (when they are asleep)

I'm thankful for my children (when the babysitter comes...)

I'm thankful for my husband who works hard at a job he hates (though I would be more thankful if he worked at a job hated that was closer to home

You say.... WHAT????

Inappropriate.  TMI.   Keep it to yourself.   If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.   Do any of these ring a bell?

I had a conversation on a PRIVATE phone with my sister the other day (well, actually she was on her cell phone but was sitting in the car because while she did have to go into the post office she chose not to carry on our conversation in front of all the other postal patrons) about the complete and utter lack of decorum when it comes to cell phone conversations.  

I was in Banana Republic the other day and overheard a woman asking about a friend's colonoscopy which was scheduled for the next day.  Yuck.  

My sister was in line at CVS and the young lady in front of her was relaying in great detail about her trip to the Florida Keys and about the all-nude bar she was at and how everyone was naked and how great it was.  

Or....how about the phones that ring during Church?  Yep, it's happened!  WTF??? 

C'mon world.....I do NOT need a visual of Candy lying on her side with a tube snaked up her butt or Sally's wide fat ass jiggling about and hanging off a stool in the FLA Keys while she is sucking down a Margarita.  I say....keep...it....to....yourself.  And if you can't......sit in the car and talk all you want.  I don't want to hear it.   (BTW.....do you notice a butt theme here?  Hmmmmmm.........interesting.)

I ask our faithful readers....please post a TMI conversation overheard on a cell phone.  I'm sure everyone has heard at least one by now!   Let's see who overheard the worst conversation ever....I'm sure it will be a doozy!