The Oprahphication of America

I have a been a Oprah watcher for appx twenty years. I can remember the days when I was 17 and I would slug home from High School and sit down, tune in and watch the latest schadenfreude of someone else's life. I've seen it all. Her weight loss, her weight gain. Her weight gain, her weight loss. Her stories on all aspects of American life...the good, the bad and the ugly.

It is recently that I have tired of Oprah. It's not been an easy revelation, I mean I have been a devotee for 20 years!!!....but one I have unfortunately come to. Here are some thoughts on the Oprah of 2008.

1. I am sick to death of Oprah promoting herself and her damn magazine...which she is ALWAYS on the cover of.

2. I am tired of your constant brown nosing/sucking up of celebrities that are your BFF's and the movies they are promoting. I mean, I'm all for helping out a friend....but does it have to be EVERY DAY that we are subjected to Tom, Katie, Celine, Bernie Mac, Julia, George, Jen, Halle, Denzel, so on and so on?? I don't really care about these people and their newest and greatest movie, the amount of pure energy and effort they put into their latest role and how damn hard it is being a celebrity and all that other crap. Basically they are BORING and to a degree FAKE. Every movie that they are carping about...you can be sure to hear Oprah say "oh, and audience, was this not the BEST movie you have ever seen?? Applause, hooting, applause, shrieking, applause." Really now, how can they all be the BEST? Some SUCKED. But I guess she can't say that.

3. I am done with the goody two shoes give your entire life over to being a perfect and giving person. I don't need a preacher or a sermon from you...I go to church for that. Not to be a total bitch...I know what she is trying to get at...and I admire it....but does it have to be EVERY third show? I mean I am totally all for the Girls School in Africa, the Angel Network and her new show The Big Give. But again, every THIRD show? I want smut and drama!

4. I am sooooooooooooooooooo sick of the let's find out every little thing that is wrong with ourselves, like when we stubbed our pinky toe when we were 2 and your brother called you a stupid idiot, and now you are overweight, jobless, living on $90K in credit card debit, and your boyfriend is a loser and you blame it all on that PINKY TOE. Self reflection is just that......for your SELF.

5. Do you remember when Oprah was sued for the meat thing by the Texas Cattle people? They were mad that Oprah said she wouldn't eat beef and they claimed she caused millions of people to not buy beef. I have a theory on the current economic downturn....Oprah has repeatedly told us to simplify our lives, stop spending money on dumb things (which I agree on), get rid of all credit card debt etc. Perhaps the haus fraus etc. of America are listening and acting and that is why we are in a probable recession? Seems kinda crazy...but just think about it for a second. Hmmmmm....could be a small correlation??

6. The last good show I happened to catch on Oprah was when Dr. Oz was on and she had on the guy whose skin turned BLUE from having too much of a chemical in his diet. Now, that was INTERESTING! Oprah, I want the real stories back on her show...the life and death situations, the funny stories, the sad stories, all the things of REAL LIFE.

I will NOT be tuning in to watch that philanderer Billy Joel and his new 26 year old wife tomorrow. Yet another celebrity bow down from the Queen of Media. No thanks.

I wonder who Dr. Phil has on?