Imaginary Friends

I count myself lucky that my children still believe in Santa Claus. I know the oldest is about to turn 10, but it warms my heart that he still wants to put out cookies for Santa and carrots for the reindeer. Granted, the downside is that they still believe that Santa can bring any present to them, regardless of cost or availablity. (THANK GOD THEY DIDN'T ASK SANTA FOR THE Wii!!!) I can't tell you how many times I've heard them say, "That's okay Mommy, Santa MAKES the toys, it doesn't cost him ANYTHING!" I finally had to tell them that the elves make some of the toys and that Santa gets a bulk discount from Toys R' Us.

Let's not even discuss how Santa brings different things to different kids. At my house, Santa brings little trinkets in the stockings and one Holy Grail gift (like a Nintendo DS or a pricey Lego Set). At another friends house, the main haul is courtesy of the big guy. And another friend's kids get EVERY SINGLE GIFT from SANTA! If they are out of state, Santa leaves gifts in BOTH PLACES! Every gift that comes from their grandparents, cousins, parents or aunts is actually from SANTA, but the relative in question put the REQUEST to Santa on the child's behalf. Can you imagine what would happen if our kids all got together and compared notes?

But I digress.

My kids also still believe in the tooth fairy. This is less of a deal (both logistically and financially). They are both heavy sleepers so it is easy to sneak the tooth out from under the pillow and slide that dollar bill underneath. Again, this is not without its drawbacks... The one time I fell asleep and FORGOT to put the money under my son's pillow, he woke up, looked under his pillow and struggled not to cry. Luckily, the Super Bowl had been the previous night. I urged him to try putting his tooth under his pillow again and sure enough, the Tooth Fairy left him a note saying that too many kids had stayed up late to watch the Super Bowl and she hadn't gotten around to all the teeth in one night. She also doubled the amount of cash she normally left, just for his pain and suffering. He TOTALLY bought it! Phew! Again, the downside is that if either of my kids goes through my bra drawer, they will find a HUGE stash of baby teeth in various ziploc bags. Luckily, they are afraid of bras!

Then there's the Easter Bunny. Lucky for me, we spend every Easter at my mother's house, so she deals with the "bunny baskets" as she calls them. Some crayons, some play-doh, a few trinkets from the dollar store and a chocolate bunny and it's a done deal.

HOWEVER, THERE IS A NEW SILHOUETTE LOOMING ON THE HORIZON...

My son came home from school on Monday (that would be Monday, MARCH 17th!) and told me that a classmate instructed him to place ALL HIS SHOES by the bedside and the LEPRECHAUN would come and put CANDY AND MONEY IN HIS SHOES!!!

For the love of GOD! When does it end??? The elaborate ruse that we need to maintain in order to keep our children happy??? The delicate house of cards that requires only the tiniest tremor to bring it crashing down.

Here's the dictionary definition of leprechaun: "One of a race of elves in Irish folklore who can reveal hidden treasure to THOSE WHO CATCH THEM."

Okay kids, if you see a leprechaun running through our town, feel free to catch him and get what's coming to you. But if you think you can reap any kid of financial rewards from leaving your shoes exactly where I DON'T WANT THEM (in fact, right where I will trip over them when I come to kiss you goodnight!)YOU'VE GOT ANOTHER THINK COMING!

I refuse to get on board with a F%@%IN' LEPRECHAUN! That little green midget can kiss my Luck Charms!

Of course a friend of mine has been perpetrating this particular fraud for years. When they came home from skiing this past weekend, they discovered that "LUCKY" had knocked over chairs, scattered the throw rugs and left chocolate coins and green derbys strewn around the house.

Great, now I have to keep my kids away from her kids.

At least until after the Easter Bunny comes.