Now the requirements are.... haircut with foil highlights to cover incoming grays, expensive hair products to make hair shiny and full (somewhat like a dog's hair), legs and pits shaved DAILY, bikini wax (or otherwise its ingrown hairs....OUCH!), eyebrow wax (unibrow...not attractive), pedicure complete with toe hair pluck and vigorous heel scourge, manicure (when I actually have nails...which is, like, never), lip wax (I called my sis on this one to ask if she waxed lip.....answer was "what are you crazy? Of course I do! Duh!"), expensive eye cream that probably doesn't work, moisturizer that is designed to give you a effervescent, youthful face (yeah, friggin right), special zit wash for the face, special zit cream for the zits that made it past the zit wash, sunscreen, lip balm, teeth whitening toothpaste, mouthwash and strips and don't forget that 10 hours a week of exercise to attain that perfect bod!
What do men do? Well, I can only speak for my hubby........his daily regiment......shower, shave, brush teeth, brush hair, pit shit (aka deodorant), some cologne. That's IT! No zit creams, or eye creams, or highlights or pedicures or anything else. And guess what....he looks great! I am starting to wonder if all this crap I do and use has any benefit at all.
Ok, wait...I'm sure it must HELP, even, umm, a little bit....I mean good grief, can you even imagine what I would look like without the total workup? THINK - Grey hair, unibrow, hairy pits, legs, and crotch, body odor slightly smelly, a zitty and wrinkled face and the creme de le creme, yellow teeth. Attractive, huh? Makes you wonder where does one go from here? I guess a tummy tuck, boob implants, liposuction, and permanent hair removal is the obvious next step. Welllllll........maybe I'll stick to what I got right now. It ain't so bad after all!
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