It's a Gas!

Okay, from the title you are probably thinking I'm going to post something about the effects of beans on my digestive track. And while I could certainly write PAGES about that (and my kids and husband would be more than willing to add their 2 cents!) I'm going in another direction entirely.

I thought I created a word today, but I just discovered its in the Urban Dictionary. Still a great word though: Gashole. People who drive oversized cars without merit are gas-wasting assholes, or gasholes for short. Not to be confused with Massachusetts assholes or Massholes, a word I learned when I moved here for college.

I know, I'm a hypocrite, I used to drive an SUV and now I have a mini-van. (And hey, I live in Massachusetts, does that make me a Masshole Gashole?)

I suggested we go with a more fuel efficient station wagon when our Ford Explorer bit the dust, but my hubby felt with all the friends we're toting to activities and such, the mini-van was the way to go (and I LOVE IT! You should see how COOL I am driving it around suburbia listening to Eminem and My Chemical Romance! Yeah man!)

I'm really talking about those damn Humvees. Why would someone want to drive something that gets two tenths of a mile to the gallon? Okay, in the Sunni Triangle you might need one to protect your ass and crush any insurgents that might stray in your path. But on the suburban south shore??? You just have to ask yourself WWAGS? (What Would Al Gore Say?) I keep seeing one around town that's a lovely shade of banana. Like we wouldn't notice you otherwise?

There's a school of thought that men that drive these things are, ahem, lacking in other areas. But what about the women? Would the female humvee driver be someone who is insecure about a lack of a rack, or are things not what they should be below the equator?

I can only feel slightly smug that my husband's somewhat gas-efficient Saturn is still plugging away after 11 years and more than 300,000 MILES! When it dies, maybe we should think about a humvee! That's it, sell the house, live in the "V" and pop in on friends and family to use the bathroom. The kids'll love it!

Speaking of gas, when you go to fill your tank be sure to use the station in the center of Hanover (across from Briggs stables). It's owned by a Hanover family and I notice they really try to keep gas under $3.00 a gallon when other stations are way over that.

Oh, and by the way, the Urban Dictionary has several other definitions of gashole, including people who talk non-stop about nothing and kids who light their farts on fire. There is, however, an image of a man standing next to a BANANA YELLOW HUMVEE! So there!