auf wiedersehen, Hausfrau

Alas, JA, my partner in crime, has declined to continue with our blog. Who can blame her? She's working nearly full time, raising three children, putting an in-ground pool in her backyard.

Just a note to say "thank you" for all you've done for me. You poked me in the ass to get this blog going. You FORCED me (yes, forced me!) to call the local newspaper to beg for the weekly column (which I love!)

You dragged me into doing freelance copywriting work.

Basically, I owe everything to you.

You will be missed.

In the immortal words of Heidi Klume "auf wiedersehen"

Descent into Evil

I spent the summer reading many different types of books. "Lone Survivor", the story of a Navy Seal in Afghanistan, was a gripping read, and "Swapping Lives" a bit of fluff from Jane Green was escapist. I also zoomed through Green's "The Beach House" (more fluff) and "The Friday Night Knitting Club." (ugh)

I was about two chapters into more escapist fodder with Green's "The Other Woman" when my friend passed me her copies of "Waiter Rant" and "Columbine". I immediately picked up "Columbine" and began to read more about the horrific school shooting and the two teenagers who masterminded it.

What is it about "Columbine" that made me put "The Other Woman" aside and descend into this act of evil? Why would I, or anyone, want to know the intimate details of such a bloodbath. And with children, no less? Am I hoping to reassure myself that while this kind of thing happens "somewhere else", it wouldn't happen here? Or am I hoping to head off any kind of behavior in my own children, who seemed fascinated by The History Channel with its WWII documentaries and shows like "Lock n' load with R. Lee Ermey"?

Hmmmm.

Back on Track

School has been in session for three days and I am back on track (hate those words) in terms of working out. Not so much in the eating (though I am trying to make conscious choices now instead of just stuffing random objects into my mouth.)

Wednesday (first day of school) I took a 2 hour walk on the beach with some friends. Two hours! What it lacks in hardcore aerobic activity it makes up for in duration.

Thursday I took the 6am spin class (and don't you burn extra calories when you get up at that friggin' UNGODLY hour??? I burned 550 calories (according to my bike) and subsequently had to take not one but two naps in order to recover.

Today I try ZUMBA. A friend teaches it right down the street, so I will check that she knows CPR and that there is a defribulator nearby and see what happens.

Now if I can just get control over the eating, things would be good.

Karma is a Bitch (and I love her!)

Yesterday I was waiting patiently in line at the self-checkout at my food store.  There are three self-checkouts at my store.  Two are for 15 items or less (no conveyor belt) and the third is for larger orders.  I was in the larger-order line.

The guy across from me at 15 or less was causing a backup because he had accidentally put his money in the COUPON slot...As the manager helped rectify the situation, a woman I know got into line behind him.  She was holding a bottle of chocolate syrup in one hand, and a baby in an infant carrier in the other.  We chatted for a moment and when the man finally finished his order, this OLD BAT WITH A CART FULL OF SHIT has the nerve to tell my friend that she had been waiting for a long time in the regular check-out line and could she please go AHEAD of her!

So let's recap, shall we?  My friend was waiting in a 15 items or less self-checkout line with ONE item.  This old crabby lady had been waiting in a regular check out item with a cart full of stuff.  My friend replied, "But I only have one item" as she struggled to balance the infant carrier, and the other woman just pushed ahead of her.

I told my friend she could go ahead of me in my line.  The woman ahead of me finished her order and my friend scanned her one bottle of chocolate syrup, paid in CASH and then thanked me again before she left.  In a loud voice I said "THAT'S ALL RIGHT!  YOU ONLY HAD ONE ITEM!!!"  I then scanned my items, all the while noting that not only was the old bat to my right having trouble scanning certain items, but she was rapidly running out of room in the bagging area for the items she had scanned.  Uh, hello!  That's WHY it's 15 items of less!  That's WHY my aisle has a CONVEYOR BELT!

I finished my order, bagged my items and left the store with a satisfied smirk as the woman was still scanning her items (and she still had a half-full cart).

Karma is a bitch, and I LOVE her!

Happy Mother's Day

Best Mother's Day ever!

Woke up late, enjoyed Blood Orange mimosas with my husband.  Took the kids to see Star Trek movie while eating BUTTERED movie popcorn and an ENTIRE BOX OF DOTS!

Took a nap after the movie, then my husband picked up Chinese food.  He cleaned up the kitchen while my kids presented me with their presents:  A homemade poem/picture frame and a sculpture from my 11-year old and a talking card that says "Mom, you're the BEST" from my 8-year old.  

Second best presents...the bracelet I picked out for myself and the mani/pedi gift certificate (also picked that one up myself...)

TOP THAT!